Here And There

06/30/2006

The One Where I Discover The Root of My Disfunction

I can't possibly say how happy I am that it is Friday and that in a few hours I will be done with work for four. whole. days!

Those days will be almost entirely filled with stressing about the piece I am making for the upcoming art show. Ha! Hopefully a little work will be done on it too. I really am a diseased person. Why do I hate doing the only thing that gives my life purpose? Why can't I just make something instead of making such a huge deal out of everything.

There are also BBQs this weekend. And I am maybe making my berry pie and also maybe ribs! Cooking is easy for me because most of the time everybody loves it and I am sustained therefore.

Hmmm, maybe my problem is that I exptect everyone to react the same way to my art that they do with my cooking. But no one makes orgasmic "mmm, mmm"ing noises over most people's art right? And why do I even need that in the first place? I am missing something of my own that I require people to validate me like that.

Man, Cyrus picked a good one. he he.

Anyway, there was enough crazy in the last post, I don't need to bore my poor diary with more.

I've been going to the gym this week! And it feels so good! I really don't like being out of shape.. I hate it worse than I hate lifting weights in that sweaty man world so I guess that is the choice I have to make. Also, C and I have been eating really healthy so maybe I can get rid of the muffin top that I thought would be fun to have. (Yeah I thought that, as a bellydancer, it might be cute if I had a little pudge. Guess what, when you have a small frame and you are no taller than 5'....it's not cute. It just looks unhealthy. I'm just not volumptious and this has helped me accept that).

Plus squats are great for bellydance stamina!

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06/29/2006

I Was Going to Post This Yesterday But I Got Distracted.

It just rained for a few minutes and now the smell of wet dry ground is wafting in my windows. I love that smell. It's so sweet and muggy, I could hyperventilate inhaling it so deeply.

Right now I can't decide whether to write about why I'm trying to lose weight. Or why I started birth controll again. Or about my new art piece and the fact that it will be on a wall with other art in two weeks. That I'm leaving for Oregon next weekend for my cousin's shower and I need to do the decorations for that. That my new dance choreography is exciting, dynamic and challenging but that I'm behind because I haven't been able to practice outside of class. That I've been taking a painting workshop and a Goddess workshop and they were both really inspiring and neat. Or that I have tons of ideas for sewing projects and have knitting that is itching to be done. Are you confused, bored and slightly frustrated yet dear Diary? Because I am.

I'm all over the place right now. Spinning mental circles. For some reason, lately, my attention span is that of a tiny flying insect. Maybe I'm overwhelmed. I get this way when I'm either depressed or overwhelmed, and of course those two things go hand in hand too.

But, most of the things that are overwhelming me are so positive and interesting that I'm feeling REALLY frustrated I can't put my finger on one thing and do it start to finish.

What an obnoxious post! I think though, that great diary posts are ones that a person is able to sit back and reflect on an experience and then write about that reflection. And honey, I'm not reflect on anything right now. I'm doing only reactionary, slightly confused thinking and oh god! I feel like such a baby, my life is not that hard! Why can't I handle daily issues like everyone else in this world?

In more fun and saner news, we threw away our old beat up hibachi grill and bought a grown up BBQ last weekend. And so far we've used it twice with fantastic results!

We also had a really nice time in Napa last weekend.

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03/28/2006

Heaven in a pie dish

I made a birthday berry pie for my good friend/boyfriend's band's drummer Mouse. And I'm posting it because it was the best pie I've ever made in my limited experience. Perfect crust via the food processor with this super easy crust recipe. I didn't use a recipe for the inside though, just used two packages of Whole Foods frozen mixed organic berries and coated them with 3/4c of flour and 1 cup of sugar.



I served it simply with some ice cream and people at the party were making food orgasm noises which if you baked, my dear blog, you would know that these noises are the reason people like me bake. Success indeed. Of course, some of these people may have been under the influence of a certain appetite inducing substance but it's all hearsay.

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12/19/2005

Things get finished. Things get put off till later.

This weekend was nicely stormy.

I didn't get everything done that I needed to. So I'm cutting my losses. Which are - the fuzzy feet for christa. I gave her a necklace from the craft fair that she loved and my homemade perfume and will finish the fuzzies while sitting on my a** in Alaska drinking cocoa. Also the necklace I was making for a certain someone. I will give her perfume and then the necklace on her birthday.

I'm also skipping bellydance again this wed. Which really sucks. But has to happen.

I worked Saturday and came home about 2pm. I cleaned the house and carved my lino bookplate for Sally. Made meatloaf and opened presents from my Mom and Dad. They gave us one of those high density foam mattress covers. They are really expensive and really comfortable but we are afraid of the fumes. I'm not sure what to do.

But we got lots of fun nice stuff. My mom is so sweet. She gave the kitties this "Kitty Body Pillow" with catnip that the went crazy over for about 15 minutes.

Also I got a "Knitting Pattern a Day" Calendar. There looks like some pretty good patterns in there.

On sunday I took a bath and watched the rain and really awesome lightning. Some friends came over and I made my ham from my parents. It was soooo good. I'm sold on buying meat from them from now on.

This week is going to be insane. 3 more days till we leave!!!!

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12/16/2005

Stress, it is Holiday

I'm alive. But crampy and stressed. My mom actually made me chant "I am not Martha, I am not Martha" yesterday.

I have to work tomorrow (Saturday, the last weekend before I leave for 10 days) and had to skip Bellydance Wed. because I had to work late. But I was only slightly pissed about that because I had to have a 2 min choreography ready to show the class and I was totally not ready.

But I've been doing stuff. So much stuff my wrist and my brain hurt. Photo proof.

One fuzzy foot. I'll just revel in this misshapen and slightly hole-y accomplishment before thinking about the fact I've only knitted an inch on the cuff of the other one and need to have them finished and felted by 7 pm on Sunday when Christa comes over for dinner. Its apparent that I'm incapable of kitchener stitch. It's all grafted fine but it looks so wonky! I swear these weren't so hard the first time I made them. Have I regressed in my knitting skillz? Thank Goddess I'll be felting it.

Also Baking.

Gingerbread from Eating Well Magazine. I'm not posting a link because I don't recommend them. And, you guessed it. Those whitish spots are clumps of butter I failed to let soften enough so I could properly incorporate them into the dough. Que serah.

(Also, that mug of suspect-looking liquid is ginger lemon tea if you were wondering)

So they weren't that great. But I had to post a picture because I'm obsessed with trays of cookie shapes. It all dates back to one Raggedy Anne book from the seventies that I used to read at my Grandma's house (down the street!) about the dog that stole all the nice shaped cookies that Raggedy Anne made for Raggedy Andy. The book isn't that great or special but it's just one of those visual memories that stick in my head. I think there is a picture of poorly rendered beige cookie shapes raining down from the sky after being spilled. I kind of wonder if some of the things I remember most about my childhood were not things I especially liked but ones I didn't. I mean, thinking back, they were horrible illustrations, and the dog stealing the cookies that Raggedy Anne worked so hard to make kind of upset me (control issue?). Who knows.

Thankfully I know my jam thumbprint cookies from epicurious.com will turn out great because that is the best cookie recipe in the world. At least when you use my Mamma's homemade jam it is..

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12/06/2005

You know you wanna see it....

My freezer.

We brought back our half of the half of pig we bought . It cost 60$ total. It is way less than I thought it would be. Thats not a bad thing, I was afraid it wouldn't all fit in my freezer, but this was not the case. And the price is pretty good too. I ended up with half a ham, 4-5 pound of bacon, about 6 pkgs of 2 pork chops, some steak, 4 pkgs of sausage, a roast, short ribs, and my brother spared some venison steaks and a venison tenderloin. A lot of meat, but it will last us until next time. The price is good and I can feel good about it. Yay.

1. My meat, baby
2. Homemade raw cat food in yogurt containers ready to be defrosted and devoured by carnivorous felines.
3. Christmas cookie dough to be defrosted and baked this weekend. (gingerbread, and lemon shortbread if you were wondering)
4. Left over curry lentils (and I think some homemade watermelon yogurt sorbet underneath).

I feel so exposed.

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11/29/2005

We ate. We Argued. We were thankful.

Thanksgiving. C and I drove the 10 or so hours through the night to Aurora, Oregon from Oakland, California. We listened to The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman on tape. I tried not to, but slept most of the way.

Thanksgiving with the parents was pretty good. The rest of our family went to Three Sisters for thanksgiving which we all opted out of so I didnt see any of them. My youngest brother was on leave from the Navy. He is really loving the Navy and is learning a lot and is in no imminent danger of going to Iraq that I know of so maybe my initial freak out at his joining wasn't totally necessary. He loves being in uniform, and a part of something, and getting respect from our extended military family and I can't begrude him that. We don't have that in common but what does that matter.

Naturally my father drove me nuts. But there were no major arguments mostly because at a certain point its useless to argue with him so I didn't and let it go. Now that we are both adults someone has to act like one.

I had a great time with my mom and my neice. I used to think I was just biased but there can be no denying that my neice is just a really cool person. She is so sweet and thoughtful (at 6!) and is really never misbehaves. I'm sure that means when she becomes a teenager she will be a nighmare. But more power to her. She's really great, and so funny.. she rocks.

My mom is making Lemon Curd for gifts this year and has been collecting jars to put it in all year. Kyleigh and I painted them with dorky glass paint as a collaborative effort. It was fun and she impresses me with her drawing skills. She started school kind of late but she is making up for it with her enthusiasm for drawing and writing. She spent hours with Cyrus filling in this huge writing and learning workbook. She finished the entire thing.


We had a good dinner. The usual stuff. But this year we had three of my brother's chickens instead of a turkey. We also got a couple half gallon jars of beer from McMenniman's (local brewers in Oregon/Washington) You can bring your own jars, or they will give you one and you can take home beer, its cool.

I got to go to Fabric Depot which is the best fabric store ever. And they were having a 30% off everything sale. I got a big bag of stuff. It sucks there is not one like it in the Bay Area. Also went to Fred Meyer, another Northwest store I wish we had here.

They cats yelled at us for hours once we got back. They've learned a new trick while we were gone. They can now climb up on the counter and pry open the cupboard to get at their treats. I've since moved them to a new location, but in retalliation camille pulled down my bag of dried currants, chewed holes in the bag, presumably ate some, and left them on the kitchen floor for me to find. Lovely.

While we were gone my Elann order came. I got a bunch of Peruvian Highland Wool to make C a hat. It's suprisingly soft. I should be able to come up with a color combo with what I got. I'm thinking brown with a blue, green, or orange stripe. We'll see. I also got some Quecha and I will be getting more. It's nice stuff.

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11/11/2005

The Citrus Paradisi or Giant Grapefruit Provides Much Entertainment

I ate a really big grapefruit from Whole Foods. (brewsky for scale:)

Unfortunately, besides being the biggest grapefruit I've ever eaten it was also the most tasteless. PLUS it didn't go so well with Pumpkin Ale. Go figure.

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11/09/2005

Nothing but a little TART!

I made a tart.

A pear tart. And it is my new favorite dessert. This particular recipe embodies all my favorite things about food. Simple. Delicious. Easy. And is especially cool because you don't need any fancy pants tart dish or anything. And of course, the best part is all the HO jokes ya' get to make.

Recipe: Rustic Pear Tart.

Beware. The total amount of flour is separated in the ingredient list. You will have 2/3 c of flour total. I may actually use my own whole wheat pastry recipe next time. The walnut oil is a healthy substitute for tons of butter, but naturally, that makes it less flaky.

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11/08/2005

Itty Bitey food

Tiny food. I. can't. get. over. it.

This is not new. Notmartha has apparently had this on her blog since Feb. but I never actually clicked on the links. Oh my god the mini hamburgers!! And salad!

I fear a mini cocktail party in my future.

***DON'T FORGET TO VOTE TODAY!!***

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11/02/2005

Sugar, Spice and All Things Nice (like deep fry).

For Samhain I made doughnuts. My mom used to make doughnuts every halloween. When we would get back from trick or treating with our booty and our hands frozen stiff, there would be doughnuts and hot cider waiting for us. It was very sweet. And since you should never make something as bad for you as doughnuts without an occasian, and all the other occasians have their own dessert halloween is the perfect time to do it. So I scrounged up Grammas spice doughnut recipe and gave it a shot.

I'll elaborate since my Gramma didn't. (also "t" means teaspoon):
•Take the dry ingredients and whisk them in a bowl. Take all the rest of the ingredients and mix them on medium for 3 minutes. Then with a spoon, fold the dry ingredients into the wet in 2 batches. It will be a little sticky. Place dough on floured surface and roll to about 1/2" thick. **I rolled mine to thin, dont go crazy it only takes a few rolls. Then cut them out with a doughnut cutter. (I had to go to Sur la Table to get mine. Which was a HUGE mistake according to my credit card. But if you have restraint in the face of all the neat cooking things or there is another kitchen store by you... they are only about 1$.)

•Place cut out holes and doughnuts on wax paper when done. Put a rack over a pan, or over lots of paper towels for your just fried doughnuts to cool.

•Heat oil to about 350 degrees. Grammas recipe says 375, yet I thought even 350 was too hot. It depends on your thermometor, the size of your doughnuts etc.

•Put your dough in a few at a time, turn once. Then place on rack to cool. You'll have to constantly adjust the heat to keep the oil at a good temp. If they are browning/burning too quickly but not done enough on the inside, reduce the heat. If they are taking too long to brown (subsequently absorbing a ton of oil) turn that bitch up! It should take no longer than 2 min per side. For the doughnut holes I just stirred them constantly for a few minutes. That seemed to get the roundest shape.

Mine came out a little brown/slightly dry because I'd rolled them too thin. But they were still so f*ing good a person could die. It's so worth it to make your own. I shook some in sugar and cinnamon, glazed some, and left some plain. Heaven comes straight out of the deep fryer. I've always suspected it.

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10/19/2005

Can't a girl get any AUTUMN around here?

I LOOOOOVE autumn. I think it's my favorite season. The food (squash, pumpkin, greens, apples, pears!) is my favorite food, the weather (if you're lucky: crisp, cold, clear, wood smoke in the air) is the best, the clothes (knits! scarves, knit tights, hats, coats, boots) are the most comfortable to me. And I finally get to turn the heat on in the evening. Love it.

But I live in Northern California. And I get weather like THIS . Can't get a break from this GODDAMNED good weather. I can't tell you what I'd give for a dark rainy day inside with my cats, my knitting, some tea and my man.

But it is a *little* chilly at night. I put my fuzzy feet and a sweater on last night. It's a start. So to get in the autumn spirit I made myself a fabulous fall dinner.

Menu: Pork chops with fresh sage, Roasted fall vegetables with maple and thyme, and greens with garlic and lemon.

Tada! Okay so I'm not winning any food photo award. (Kinda looks like something you'd see out of a really crappy 70's cookbook huh?) But it was yummy. And all for me. I'm a firm believer of cooking great stuff for yourself. Who says you need to have a man around to do any actual cooking? All the more leftovers for lunch today!

•Pork chops: your usual floured, sea salted and peppered, in the frying pan chops. With some chopped fresh sage from my herb garden.
•Roasted vegetables: Parsnips, Acorn squash (love the trader joes cut/pealed bag), and sweet potato. Roasted at 425 degrees, 40 min or so with 2T of melted butter, 2T of real maple syrup, 1T of balsamic, S&P and a little fresh thyme.
•Greens: Turnip greens, kale, and spinach boiled then tossed with olive oil, garlic, and lemon squeeze and salt.

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10/15/2005

*snort*

I'm buying half of a pig.

I have to call the butcher tomorrow to tell them what I want out of it. Ha-ha! I'm serious. But there is an explanation.

~ WARNING: opinionated and judgmental and slightly preachy post ahead. But humor me.~
My parents have pigs. (and cows and chickens*) And we love them. And we eat them. And they are good.

I feel that most people in our culture (including myself for a while) are so far removed from where their food comes from they don't realize what it takes to get it on their plate. Farmers and farm workers BUST THEIR ASS to grow and harvest crops (and spend huge amounts of natural resources getting it to our grocery stores so that we can have variety), every plant you eat comes from the ground so it might have some dirt on it,

- AND ANIMALS HAVE TO DIE FOR YOU TO EAT MEAT-

Pigs are gorgeous, intelligent, hilarious and kind of gross animals. And they have died so I can eat my bacon but I have a ton of respect for them which is what our culture really lacks when it comes to food. I love meat and eat it all the time. And I fully applaud vegetarians in their choice. Mostly because I feel that, if you can't handle the idea of eating an animal that was once living you shouldn't eat meat because that would be disrespectful.

A friend from Vietnam once complained to me that Americans are so picky and wasteful. I'd never thought of that before but it's true (I'm guilty of it) "I don't like the bones" "I don't want to eat all this other yucky stuff". etc. You know what I mean. We like our food to be pre-packaged, skinless, boneless etc. etc. I think it has a lot to do with lack of respect and realizing that nothing should be wasted or else we have needlessly wasted an animal's life.

Anyway I bought a half a pig. That is 61.5 pounds before cutting. I'm calling the butcher tomorrow to tell him what cuts I want and what not. And I'm excited because even though it's a little overwhelming:

• It will last us over a year, save us money, and take up tons of space in the freezer so I will have no where to put the ice cream I'm not supposed to eat.

• I know that not only were they fed good food, given no hormones, had plenty of space to play and root around, they were also loved because my whole family spends quite a bit of time with them. And thats something you can't get from even Organic factory meat. Have you ever noticed you never see any fields with pigs in them? Thats because they are kept in huge barns with no space to move for their entire lives while they are fattened up and then killed. And these are animals that are about as smart as dogs!

• Its REALLY f'ing good. You CAN'T buy the same quality at a grocery store. (Pork chops, and ham, and bacon. OH MY!)

Obviously most people can't raise a pig and eat it. But I think it is really important to be aware of what we are consuming. Most of our food is farmed unsustainable, wastefully, and cruelly. So think before you buy! And buy ORGANIC, people!

*stepping down from soap box*

_______________________
* We're a little redneck
** Also they're rednecks
*** Yeah, uh huh, they are rednecks

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07/25/2005

Summer lovin'

When I went to the Oakland farmers market on my lunch break on friday I picked some organic zucchini blossoms, some fabulous blueberries and the tastiest basket of cherry tomatoes I've ever eaten.

Now, I know eating zucchini blossoms is not a new thing. But it was (kind of) new to me. I had them in Oaxaca, Mexico years ago in a quesadilla with Oaxacan cheese on a freshly made flour tortilla and it was about the best thing I've ever had in my life. At least at the time.

I didn't have any Oaxacan cheese (curses!) but I love fried zucchini so this is what we got AND IT WAS YUMMY!

So, if you haven't made zucchini blossoms and think they are neat, let me show you what I did.

First I mixed about 3 oz. of goat cheese with some milk and herbs from my window box (chives, parsley and oregano I think, and red pepper flakes and S & P). Use just enough milk to make it easy to fill the blossoms. Wash and de-stem the blossoms. I took out the pollen-y thing in the middle although I don't know if you have to or not. Then I stuffed them with as much cheese as would fit and twisted the blossom ends closed.

I coated them with egg and then flour with salt and pepper. I fried them in some olive oil until lightly brown on both sides.







Next time I will fry them a little longer on each side to get nice and crispy but I'm not complaining. They were really tasty. I served them with my favorite pasta e olio (pasta with plenty of olive oil, parsley, and lightly sauteed garlic and red pepper flakes) and cherry tomato salad (olive oil, lemon and chopped parsley and basil)Er, yes, that is Pabst Blue Ribbon we are enjoying with our meal and not some beautiful rose wine we've been saving. *Ahem*




Then after a nice walk I topped off our perfect little summer meal with the blueberry cobbler I made with vanilla ice cream. Its so much fun using really good food that is in season. I love food.

Oh! And finally here is the birthday cake I made for Renee' like, a month ago. Isn't it pretty. It was so good, and I suck at cakes so if you need a foolproof chocolate cake this recipe is the one. I used coffee instead of water for mine. I made the ganache and the frosting before the cake and put it in the fridge according to a review I read and they were the perfect texture for spreading by the time the cake was done. I frosted with the cream-cheese frosting and then covered it with the ganache. Everyone loved it.

I'd also like point out this new product so you can do your happy dance in the privacy of your own home instead of the grocery store like me. No trans-fats crisco!! See, there are two facts: 1. Baked goods have better texture with shortening (or combination shortening/butter). Its true, I hate to upset all the butter fans but it can't be denied. For certain items like cookies and cakes (and frying) its just plain better. Although never fear, I do use real butter for shortbread. 2. Transfatty acids will kill you (at least I think thats a fact. It's definitely a fact that its bad) I use the non-hydrogenated stuff from Whole Foods but ITS EXPENSIVE! So I was so happy when I saw this:

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07/06/2005

(Sing it) *Americuuu, F**k yeah!*

So it was a fabulous 4th of july weekend. Yes, I know it is Wednesday already. I'm still recovering. From all the rest and relaxation.

Friday night we did not go to the Moroccan restaurant as planned. C's work had a BBQ at 4pm to celebrate moving to a new shop that week and he had to go. But it was okay we will go next week. I made myself a fabulous dinner out of the leftover chicken and thai skewer marinade which was leftover from maybe the best dinner I ever served. The marinade was this awesome ginger/curry/garlic and lots of other things paste with coconut milk. I sliced up some a potato and the rest of the chicken, poured on the marinade and broiled it. And made a yummy green salad - the usual baby greens with 1T of olive oil, 2 tsp of vineger, kosher salt and ground pepper. It rocked.

The night actually turned out really good despite the initial setback. We went to go see the new shop in Richmond and had drinks in this hidden (from me at least) little neighborhood. It was so awesome and I didn't even know it was there. We had Zen martinis (stoli and green tea liquor - my new favorite drink) and garlic fried calmeri in the bar of this fancy old restaurant. It had a huge bar/lounge area with cozy antique furniture. And it was one of those nights that the conversation was just flowing and we had such a good time together. We took a long drive afterwards to places we'd never seen and talked about things we had never talked about - which is only interesting when you think about the fact that we've been together for 7 years. I didn't think there would be new things to talk about ourselves after that long. Then we came home and drank wine and listened to music and played with the camera. Basically - it was great. I love that guy.

Saturday we went to a BBQ at a friends and had a very drunken good time and ate way too much food. . . . It was fab, except than the fact that C blurted out to *Fur about *Neff's recent engagement to G. Which was a secret but I forgot to tell C that and now Fur is PISSED that Neff was keeping it from her - as I would be. (Ooh, how Real World. My friends are fun)

So - chaos. But we all love each other its okay.

Monday we had a BBQ on our deck with 'the band'. It actually turned out really well, we all had a good time and got toasty. My potato salad KICKED ASS. Sorry to brag. Lets just say This potato salad recipe is the only one you'll ever need.

Well I have a knitting date with two fabulous ladies tomorrow and have to decide what the deal is with the Niece Sweater/Jacket before then. More on that later since this is offensively long.

*Names have been "changed". Natch.

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