Here And There

03/07/2006

Important tip.

So if you are ever, say, going to ride a camel into the desert and spend the night there I have a recomendation for you: put your expensive digital camera with lots of teeny tiny unfixable inside parts inside some sort of case. Or better yet don't bring it at all because it turns out you only take a few pictures with it anyway. Because if you don't......

you get grains of sand in the teeny tiny unfixable parts and when you get home from your trip IT BREAKS. Yeah. Which sucks.

You are warned.

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12/01/2005

I'm allergic to my bedroom. WTF?

All of my mother's sisters have horrible allergies. My aunt Annie had such bad asthma/allergies as a child she almost died. She is also allergic to dust, wool (ack!), down, animals, etc. My Aunt Sallie, besides having hayfever and cat allergies, cannot put anything on her skin or it cracks and gets rashes. She has to wear cotton gloves to fold laundry, is forbidden by her doctor to ever wash a car, and is not allowed really to wash anything without gloves. My mom and her brother and my brother just have your average really bad hayfever and asthma.

I, on the other hand thought I had gotten away without any allergies. Oh, I had something as a child, they stuck me with lots of needles, put me on a horrible diet and never really found what it was. They decided it might be corn. Which I hate and never eat anyway. (I'm also never motion sick, while my mother and brother get sick looking at a picture of a rollercoaster). I laughed at their pain. I thought they were winers. "I'm all itchy and stuffy, who mowed the lawn!? wah wah"

But now. As of one week. I am horribly allergic to something in my bedroom. SUDDENLY! When I go to bed at night I get all stuffy, and by about 4 am I have to get up because I can no longer breath. Its strange how horrible it feels. I now understand what everyone is complaining about. I'm not okay with getting up at four in the morning either, by the way.

I slept out on the sorry excuse for a couch that is our futon last night to see if it was something in our room. It was, because this morning I felt fine until I went in to get dressed. My biggest fears are that it is either the cats or my down comforter.

I don't think it's the cats. THANK GODDESS. I would just live with never being able to breath again if that were the case. Because when I slept on couch, the cats slept all over my face and I didn't feel a thing. ( They can't come in the bedroom. Which sucks because Olive loves her some snuggle-time.)

And I used my down throw for a pillow last night so hopefully it's not that either.

Which probably leaves dust. Of which I have a prize winning collection in my room. Unfortunately, I don't have time to pull everything out and clean it because IT IS HOLIDAY TIME.

Maybe I'll get a air purifier?

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11/21/2005

Rants and Ravings

Rant #1

Are you ever amazed by your own behavior? I amaze and disturb myself all the time. I have SO much to do right now and what did I do all day Sunday? Read my book and baked pumpkin bread. ( The Clan of the Cave Bear) Believe me, I enjoyed these few tasks immensely but, hello? All the stuff to do? Clean the filthy house, do laundry because I'm leaving for Oregon in three days, make the cat food we are days from running out of, knit on some of the christmas presents I have lined up? Nope. Not to mention things I'm actually getting paid for - the flyer, the brochure and the t-shirt design that all need to be finalized and sent out. Sheesh. Why am I so good at frustrating my own self!!? Its embarrassing that I don't have more control over myself.

Its just overwhelming and all these tasks require other little tasks and no matter how many bajillion lists I make to try to organize these things in my head, I'm at a stand still. And able to convince myself for a few hours that it's perfectly okay to sit here and read for just a little while, I'll get up and do my chores in a minute.

Anyway, I did have an awesome hike on Sunday morning. Its one of those fall mornings that are sunny and cool and feel really good on sweaty skin. My butt and calves are totally sore today. And best of all, I went with a friend and we chatted so much that I didn't even realize I was exercising, and also got lost. But what can you expect from walking and talking?

Now I'm at work and more stressed. And its all: "we have to take out this and this and this (all the interesting parts of your design), okay good. No, wait, this design is a little boring can we come up with a few more options?" Yeah. It's boring because you stripped it bare. Yes, I know it's my job to be creative and find a solution and make something out of nothing BUT I'M NOT FEELING CREATIVE RIGHT NOW!!. Okay, tantrum over.

But we are leaving on Wed. for the 11 hour drive to Oregon. I'm really looking forward to it. I checked out a book on tape. Philip Pullman's "The Golden Compass" which I love and know Cyrus will never actually read himself. So we will listen to it.

***
Rant #2

Am I the only one who finds it IMPOSSIBLE to knit for a boy? I would think I make good color choices, I do for the other things I knit. But I spent 1.5 hours in the yarn store and bought NOTHING because I could not decide on colors for Cyrus' stupid hat. Problem #1 (besides my indecision issue) is that most of the yarns, lets face it, are designed for women. In colors women, like myself, love. But not so much for boys. At least my boy. He is picky about his hats. He wants neutrals. He wants a fine gauge. Good Goddess. I think he's just going to get a new CD and a book on selling your art for Christmas. The knit hat is stressing me out too much.

***
Rave!

Okay. So I'm completely obsessed with (A.) Jane Austen and (B.) The BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. I'm one of those scary Jane Austen fans you hear about on NPR. Colin Firth will always be Mr. Darcy in my lustful eyes and I heart him.

So needless to say I was prepared to HATE the new adaption of Pride and Prejudice (I mean, Kiera Knightly?). My dance teacher invited me and fellow student Gail to go to see Harry Potter, but there was a computer mix up with the tickets so we opted to see Pride and Prejudice instead.

And, drum roll, I loved it. I couldn't help it. There were some irrtating parts (Its not that hard to make someone look like she is actually playing the piano, and Ms. Knightly's underbite to say the least) but on the whole I think they nailed it. They got that Jane Autsten-esqe dry humor and it was hilarious. They also did a good job of making it seem very real with the wardrobe and party scenes and such. Donald Sutherland stole the whole movie with his Mr. Bennett. I approve. The end.

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11/03/2005

Californians, the voters box is callin' your name.

I just feel like I need to put this out somewhere even if no one actually reads this.

Californians. You. Must. Vote. On. Tuesday. (Or today if you have absentee)

Arnie scheduled this ridiculously expensive election to bypass regular lawmaking in the democratic controlled legislature in hopes that voter turn out will be low and his sneaky bills will pass. He is counting on us not to vote! So you must. This is more important than even the presidential election because every vote counts.

At least vote no on 73. OMG some of us may not be able to imagine that there are girls who have to fear every day for their safety from their parents but there absolutely are. It is the parents' job to open up dialog about sex and abortion NOT THE STATE. Some girls could be kicked out their home, beaten, forced to have a child they could not take care of, or even killed if they were forced to tell their parents. I'd rather help these girls do what they needed to do to be safe, and then educate my own daughter and make her feel comfortable talking to me than make laws to force them to tell. VOTE NO ON 73.

If you are confused about the initiatives (which was the goal) here are a few links:

Alternet.org voter guide

Working Assests Voter Guide

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11/02/2005

Isn't America a fascinating place?!

Anti-gay church protests at soldiers’ funerals

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10/26/2005

Rain, cleaning, and knit lust.

Ahh. Rain. Finally.

Except even though this is the first rain of the season traffic wasn't horrible and ridiculous so I didn't get to be annoyed and feel smug and superior to the silly californians who can't drive in a little piddling rain. Oh well, probably next time.

Today is super busy at work and I also need to send the final newsletter to the printer. But its a good drizzly day to be busy at work. Not that I wouldn't rather be at home with the heat on, in my fuzzy feet, with kitties in my lap, knitting, and drinking tea. I'd ALWAYS rather be doing that.

Anyway, there are people coming to see the house tomorrow morning. The house is FILTHY. We're talking dishes in the living room, days old messes on the kitchen counter, vibraters on the bathroom counter, and clothes all of the bedroom floor. And I have bellydance tonight from 6:30-8:30. So from 9 to oh, about 2 am I'll be scrambling around with C trying to hide the fact we are slobs and maybe even perverts from potential new landlords.

It will be a busy day.

In other news I must also brag about how I worked four rows of the CBNJ in a PITCH BLACK bar lit only by the bar glow last night. And didn't fuck up.

I need a pair of driving mittens and some wrist warmers for work. Damn christmas. I want to knit for MYSELF!

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10/18/2005

Come on, just wait 3 more years. PLEASE!

Does this scare the HOLY LIVING CAT BARF out of anyone else?

Please, Sandra Day, don't leave us!! Not now!

Sorrry, if creepy, slimy, child beating, Dr. Dobson (who thinks the cartoon SPONGEBOB is GAY and should be removed from television) is rooting for ol' Harriet that must mean whatever she is hiding is some scary shit, and that she is a Flaming Minion of All Things Bad.

As a replacement for Sandra Day OcConnor? The only rational person on the court and the deciding vote on every issue?

This isn't political folks - Good Goddesss, THIS IS LIFE AND DEATH.

***
In Other Catastrophic and Disheartening News:

I have a cold. A really really bad one and it sucks. In fact I haven't been this sick in years. All weekend.

It could be bird flu.

***

Also I've come to realize that this is October and I need to come up with an Enviably Creative and Awe Inspiring halloween costume in one week. Also, if I don't get started on the Christmas presents I've once again made that stressful and unrealistic goal to HANDMAKE EACH AND EVERY ONE well on their way: I'll be toast.

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10/07/2005

Honey, you think you've got problems

Okay, there are people in the south WITHOUT a home or belongings, with deceased loved ones, there are people in Iraq suffering, and unimaginable things going on in Darfur.

This is what I'm telling myself so I don't sit here and wallow in self pity for one minute longer. And I really am going to gain persepctive, not only because of that white-liberal-middle class guilt I like to have going on but because I'm liable to get really depressed sometime here soon if I don't start getting happy. Cuz here's the deal:

1. As I've mentioned, my house is being put up for sale. Evidence:


2. I took my car into the mechanic this morning who, sweet man that he is (although a little drunk at times), told me that it will be $600 f'ing dollars to fix the oil leak. The leak that, had I gotten it taken care of when I first noticed it, would not have soaked through my timing belt and almost eaten it through.

3. My computer at work is B R O K E N. And like my car I did not get the malfunctioning automatic back-up system fixed when I noticed it wasn't working and now nothing is backed up and I lost I don't know how much of my work for the past 6 months. (noticing a theme here?)

4. Last night I found cat pee on my bed, on the easy chair, and on the futon couch. Yes, Camille. I honestly am at my wits end with this cat. I don't know how to deal with it. Obviously I can lock her out of any room with stuff to pee on but that sucks! And is impossible to maintain. I've tried everything and am losing it!

5. This morning I smelled gas in my house and called PG&E who found nothing and now I smell some more.

I have that familiar feeling of overwhelmed-ness that precedes a major depression streak. Especially because C is kind of down right now and actually being really awnery. But he knows it and is trying to be cool. In fact after an argument wed. night in which he was particularly out of line (I was an angel of course) he brought me these flowers yesterday:

Aren't they beautiful? I love thistles so thats why he got those and those white flowers, I don't know what they are but they are papery and so so white, I love them. So does Olive, they apparently taste good, hopefully they are not poisonous. (Don't worry PETA, I do not let her eat them) C is such a doll.

Anyway, those flowers are just one of the reasons I need not be depressed (as if logic has much to do with a chemical inbalance but hey, I'm trying). Besides, oh, having a place to live, things to eat and knowing that my loved ones are safe.....There are lots of positive things:

1. Olive is being especially love-y and cute today. (she feels bad for me about Camile and wants me to know shes not like that) She even carries her sparkly puff balls to me in her mouth to drop by my feet so I will throw it for her. "Kitty catch". It kills me and she hasn't done it in ages.

2. For once, instead of being accusing, C is with me on the depression thing and we are working together to be kind to each other and get through it. The fact is Katrina really affected both of us (remotely, obviously we weren't literally effected by it but I don't know how you can see that kind of thing even on the news and not have it effect you), I always get a little imbalanced coming home from a trip (jet lag, percieved anti-climax I guess) and then of course all these loads of issues at once.

3. There were able to get most of my files of my computer remotely (it won't start up) and put in on a hard drive so I can work at home. So now I'm at home instead of work blaring music on my itunes and drinking tea freshly imported from China and..... blogging! (and throwing sparkly cat toys for Olive)

4. Landlord got the hot tub fixed!

5. C and I are going on a date tonight. And I actually HAVE him. I just called a friend who was on the trip to China and found out her husband left her when she got back. She's devastated.

So anyway, long post. Not about China yet because I'm compiling all that. But yeah. We've all got problems.

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10/04/2005

Grown up stuff sucks

Well the reality that is my life has struck me with full force. My first day of work was not as bad as I thought it would be. My boss was gone, and things had ACTUALLY GOTTEN done while I was away so I was able to catch up on email etc. But today at our meeting we were informed that everything that usual needs to be done six months from now, actually needs to be done in 3. And the stuff that needs to be done right now actually still needs to be done RIGHT NOW! So you know, stress.

Also my car is dying. I took it to get the oil changed (something about that black dripping underneath and the burning smell and the squeaky brakes and tendency to overheat made me think it may need a little love and care). After much muffled shouting below I was told that my car has a massive oil leak and it was dripping all over their heads. Also, they can't change my oil because the plug in the pan is fucked. So I have to make an appointment with the mechanic.

And then I think we are getting kicked out of our flat. Well, my landlord is selling. I got it out of him finally. (hmmm, termite inspections etc. make one a little suspicious) It sucks because our house is great. Our rent is reasonable, the place is huge, our neighbors are cool, our landlord is fantastic and we have a fucking hot tub!!! It probably won't happen for a while but its still stressful. Moving, even if you can find a place with the same rent, is expensive! PLUS:

C wants to actually buy a house.. . . . in the bay area..... and we have no money. I guess people say it can be done but with my student loans going up as well and the fact that I'll probably need a new car I just don't see it. Plus I always kinda thought I'd have something shiny on my finger before we did that. We'll see, maybe I will*, and maybe its not as hard as I think.

So basically I came home from China broke and realizing that I needed a new car, we are going to have to move and maybe BUY place, and my student loans are going up.

Damn, being a grown up sucks.


* I believe I forgot to tell dear diary that I plan to propose to C this year. I was thinking over Christmas since we'll be in Alaska, all snowy and fireplace-y and romantic. I just haven't thought of how to do it. More on this later I'm sure.

P.S. Not only do I have pictures of my trip, but new projects. I swear, soon.

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09/02/2005

Thank the Goddess

All this reading about Hurricane Katrina and New Orleans every day for about 4 days many feelings have come up naturally (you know, like, horror, fury, nausea). But the one that comes up again and again is:

I am so fucking lucky. And blessed.

I felt lucky just to be able to sit on my cozy couch with my healthy cats and my boyfriend who loves me. And I am.

Also, I seem to be dodging the run of the mill non-human catastrophe type bad luck. Unlike C. Who bought a $300 drum machine off ebay that came yesterday -- and it's broken. He either got screwed or something happened in the mail. He's bummed.

Then this morning after getting up early to have coffee with me like the sweetheart he is (because I'm leaving for Shasta tomorrow for the weekend and he is leaving to play a show in L.A. today).... he went out to his new (to him) truck to find the dash ripped out and the stereo stolen. He's only had it for a week. OUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS SO AWESOME! Right in front of our door.

Then he took it to get the oil changed and get smogged.... and it failed smog. Because the gas cap was loose (? I dont' know. I guess it happens?)

Poor guy. Thats three though. Things happen in threes so maybe he's done with the bad luck. Unless thats MULTIPLES of three which could mean like, what 6? or 9? Yikes. I won't mention that to him. And because of the fact he is driving with the band to LA today, I'll just really hope that it is only 3.

Anyway. Besides feeling lucky, and appalled at humanity, and generally depressed. I also feel helpless! Both to help C and the people in the south. Thats so frustrating.

But at least with the hurricane victims we can help a little. Susan from I'm knitting as fast as I can set up a knitters fund. I donated. Not much, cuz I'm in a little trouble in the money department (god I feel like a scab complaining about that). But I'm thinking every little bit helps. At least I hope it does. Because otherwise I'll be putting on my swimsuit and flying to New Orleans to GET THOSE PEOPLE SOME GODDAMNED FOOD AND WATER. Since apparently the federal government, while completely capable of waging unnecessary wars in other countries is INCAPABLE of that. Its mind boggling.

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08/30/2005

What happened to having fun for the fun of it?

My boss just sent me her ofoto gallery of when her brother and sisters and their husbands/boyfriends came to visit her for her 30th birthday. They are a group of awesome fun people, I've hung out with them before. But something about these pictures made me envy them a little bit.

They are singing at karaoke, dancing in the bar, stumbling home giving each other piggy rides, generally acting silly and having a blast. Wearing wacky clothes and laughing in every picture. I mean, there is nothing so cool about stumbling home and falling on the sidewalks of San Francisco, but its the attitude, and genuineness of the pictures that made me wish I was there because it looked so fun . But two things struck me about my life looking at those pictures:

1. How cool would it be to have a relationship like that with your adult siblings? Hanging out with my family is great but it's not like that. Going out and drinking and having fun? I love my brothers but I have to admit it is SO strained. It really upsets me when i think about it. But we are just SUCH different people. I don't understand why that would be - we have the same genes! We were raised by the same people! But it's like we are from a different planet. They are 24 and 22. They stayed home in little Aurora, Or. Adopted my parents fucked up super
conservative self-absorbed politics. Are anti-social and think I'm just the biggest hippy-pinko-californian "elitist". I mean, they can't relate to me either.

I envy having that easiness and camaraderie.

2. I can't remember the last time I had a night of fun like that. I mean when you act silly and have a blast and you wake up the next morning and your cheeks hurt from laughing so much the night before. I love the people I hang out with but God Damn! When did everyone become TOO FUCKING COOL?! We've all adopted that SF bay area too-cool-for-school, I'm-so-cutting-edge-and-I-dog-on-everyone-and-their band attitude. I mean it rubs off. We wouldn't be caught dead at a karaoke bar. Or wearing anything that isn't the most hip, up to date, emo-wear. Or dancing! Or listening to anything but local, unheard of, non-"sold-out" music. Or showing any kind of enthusiasm for anything.

I guess I'm really complaining more about "the scene" than my own friends although it does apply to them (and of course we would heartily reject my implication they we part of any scene because we are always complaining about said "scene", yet we are naturally) And not all of my friends are like that, but really the other half is the type that goes to bed at 10pm on the weekends so, you know.

I'm tired of being insecure (because that is what it is all about) and looking down at other people, and people's art and music. I was once one of those people that would dance to bands I liked and was up for anything however dorky it may make me look. And when I liked something I showed it! Its just so faux and boring to pretend to be cool. I'M NOT REALLY COOL. I mean who is?

Who cares if I haven't heard of the latest underground bands, or know this artist, or that drummer? I've never been good at things like that. I have good taste, I like what I like. Liking something just because they have a little following or someone because they know so-and-so and are in with this crowd is so high school. Which is so funny because this "scene", if thats what it is, thinks they are fundamentally rejecting all that when they are the worst, but just in a different way. Okay, that is a little off the subject of the photos I was looking at but you know. Tangents. They happen.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to reject all my friends and stop going to shows and stuff. But I think I've been inspired to be a little more inclined to just live life.

I am resolving to be a little more free and honest. I will be up for anything, and I will try to surround myself with people who are up for anything. Who cares if I will be tired in the morning, or if people will sneer if I dance, or whatever. Life is short and I am young and this is the time to do it. I need some more joy in my life.

Yes, I think I need a little more joie de vivre.

AMEN?!

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08/19/2005

Gotta get up to GET DOWN!

I feel like going out and raising hell. You know, PARTAY DOWN. Okay just kidding, I'll stop talking like that.

But I am in the mood, ya know? Wear my wig and stuff, and get tipsy and talkative and uninhibited. (as much as you can in San Francisco anyway). And it just so happens I plan to go to a party tonight. A party in a gallery with a theme, and free booze and drag queens and people I know like to have fun. Which bodes well.

Its been a while since I've gone out with the girls. And I was jacked because I asked my friend to go and she wanted to and it was going to be good we haven't hung out in a while.... but then I get her email today.

She is in a bad mood and like, might not want to stay very long and wants to leave her car at the bart so she can leave if she wants to.

No big. ? So, why does that irritate the shit out of me? I guess I should point out she has a tendency to throw a negative edge on things that hangs heavy. But still, I have those days too. (just, you know, maybe not as much, and when I do I only let it affect work life not my social life. Heh)

Also, I've noticed when i look forward to things they either turn out badly or don't measure up to what I was envisioning and it bums me out. So maybe I'm just being self destructive too and am looking for something to bum me out.

Well, dammit, I intend to stay up-beat and have fun and not let her get me down. Its her deal. I'll be cool if she wants to leave. And supportive and not bitchy, just let her do her thing and I'll do mine. Like any cool, calm, independent, yet thoughtful, friend would do. (fake it till ya make it right?)

All right.. I'll report back on how successful this plan was.

Cheers!

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08/10/2005

Complaining, Cookies and Cats

Week - crazy
Mom - ariving in three days
Cafe' Bellie - happening in five days
Cats - leaving in two days (as in no more sweet kitties and boss coming over MY HOUSE to get them)
Work - BUSY and STUPID also REALLY PISSING ME OFF
Website - not done
New project - needs to be started
House - still messy

So what DID I accomplish this weekend? Well, I made some AWESOME cookies. No pictures though sorry. It was the Chewy Chocolate Cookies from February/March Eating Well magazine. The recipe is not online so I don't think I can post it here but they are pictured on the left of these cookies which I plan to try next. If you don't have this magazine GET IT. If you do have it (since february or before) make these cookies. They only have one gram of fat and are so good they make me want to cry. Also - use good chocolate, add half a bag of chocolate chips to the batter, and sprinkle with confectioners sugar when they are done to make them pretty.

Also I am almost finished with the most adorable pair of One Hour Baby Booties from Stitch n' Bitch Nation for the next door neighbor's new baby. Pics coming shortly. I'm officially obsessed with knitting booties. I also was reminded of Olive's appetite for Lamb's pride.

When I'm not looking she chews and sucks on a strand until it breaks. It drives me mad. Sometimes I don't notice until I wonder why I'm suddenly knitting with wet yarn AND IT'S SO GROSS.

Anyway please morn with me that in three days there will be no more little bundles of sweetness sleeping in the middle of my floor.

00:25 Posted in Bitch'n , Nitt'n , Pussycats | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

08/02/2005

My Wallet Hurts. : (

Ouch. I have been semi-faithfully keeping track of my expenses in July and added it all up today.

It's not pretty folks. Thats not even counting the bazillion dollars I spent this weekend while my niece and brother were in town (more on that). I spend way too much money on food which is embarrassing.

Plus:

• My mom called and told me that since Sallie Mae fucked up and has not been raising my payments on my student loan slowly and accurately (not at all in 5 years) they have to suddenly raise my payments, now that they've figured it out, in order to pay the loan off in the specified amount of time. We are talking $400 a month!!!! In addition to the $100 I pay on my other account. Not even an apology.

• I almost have no paint left on my car, it burns a quart of oil a week and sputters around like it has whooping cough. It is going to die any day now and I don't know how I'll afford a car payment if I have one.

• I have a big check for my ticket to China ($800) coming up too. Luckily I've been saving for that but it's going to wipe out my savings account.

• My raise was only %3 because of the raise cap at work

So I'm fucked basically. Pardon the language.

On a more pleasant note: my visit with my niece and brother was soooo fun. I love that girl to death. She's the neatest thing and I miss her so much already (my brother too of course). The best thing we did (although HER favorite thing was playing with the cats and taking hot tubs) was the Bay Area Discovery Museum That place is seriously neat-o. We ate lots of food and did lots of kid stuff and had a blast. And of course... spent lots of money. Ugh.

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07/23/2005

Omg.

Warning: See-sawing unstable-ness ahead.

Okay, all I can do it just give a quick, er, not so short summary of my week:

sunday -
had crying nervous breakdown in front of C about writing my personal review because I'm so stuck in a rut and can't get myself out of it

early monday morning -
calmed down and wrote review in a very positive manner, feeling better

monday - surprise meeting postponed my review that i was dreading because i have been such a horrible bitchy and bored employee

tuesday -
have review and was high the rest of the day because it went really well and mr boss said a lot of really nice things things I didn't expect and I felt really inspired for the first time in months

wednesday -
pick up my catalog from the printers- it looks great! - get an email that we all have to go to this mysterious meeting to discuss cutbacks on monday (um, scary)

wednesday night -
have horrible bellydance rehearsal because one of the girls in my troup is pregnant and can't come to China making the number of people dropping out 3! and we only have a month and a half before we leave. But then another girl - who in my opinion is the best of us students- tells me she thinks I'm looking really really good and she can hardly believe anymore that I've only been doing this a few months.

thursday -
marketing director (who had checked over said catalog TWICE before it went to print) circles two huge mistakes within 3 minutes of looking at it. spend all thursday hearing things people don't like about the catalog and am freaking out in the same vein as sunday but when I leave mr boss told me not to worry about it he is really happy with the catalog regardless

friday -
am given impossible to complete, utterly disorganized, I-have-no-idea-what-I-really-want-but-you-better-make-it-good assignment from marketing director to complete by next week when my brother is coming to visit. People are still freaking out about the catalog. Half of the mistakes are my fault - but everyone checked it twice!!!

friday afternoon (now) - if I don't leave soon I'll cry. I will too.

Crazy person? me? yes

Emotionally exhausted? yes again

Realize that things could be worse and I'm a big depressed baby? um, yep

Glad its friday and leaving early? HELL YES!


MY WEEKEND PLANS:
• Get much needed pedicure from Lisa's Nails on Grand Ave. because now with bellydancing I have to be barefoot all the time - plus I like pedicures

• Go to the farmers market while I'm at Grand Ave. get yummy stuff

• Get some Advantage for the damn flea infested cats (yes I know its poison and yes its wierd that inside cats get fleas - but dammit they are biting me and the kitties are miserable and the neice is coming to visit!)

• Keep working on the jacket that I've had to frog twice now (yeah, cotton yarn doesn't like that so much)

• Clean like a madwoman because my brother and neice are coming to visit thursday and I won't have time during the week

• Give C some lovin' because I don't deserve him and he is the most supportive, sweet, and sexy man that ever walked the earth.

• Post something sane and actually interesting on the blog (maybe, we'll see. Thats a hard one.)

00:00 Posted in Bitch'n | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

07/15/2005

Mental Health Crisis Averted...

Because I bought THIS! (hooray!) On ebay. Three skeins for $21. Bargain. I think I may love a Bargain more than life.

I'm going to make SnB Hurry up Spring Arm Warmers for Renee because last night she dyed my hair and made me dinner and also made me laugh so hard I snorted.

Then I came home drunk on wine and girl-time and came on to C and got DENIED. Ouch. You may wonder what kind of hetero boy rejects a horney drunk girl waiting for him at the top of the stairs half naked when he gets home from band practice. I would wonder that myself. (maybe one who's pissed at said girl for driving home drunk - what a silly boy that would be)

But I'm over it.

So, armwarmers for Renee. Her favorite color is maroon so i think this is a good colorway. Her birthday was just last week but oh well. (I still haven't posted that cake I made!!)

Well, I'm so glad it's friday I could cry. I am making dinner for C and I. We got our Organic Express box yesterday and I have some plans for some yummy veggies. I defrosted a Trader joes salmon and will broil that and maybe roast some potatoes and carrots with herbs and do something with that whole pound of green beans that came. We shall see.

Goals for this weekend:
Fix some of those bullshit IE problems The Website is having
Change the litterboxes
Do the damn laundry already
Post my photo albums to the blog
Plant my new window boxes???
Go to the BEACH! I'm voting for Bolinas.
Oh and DENY C if he even thinks about sex. (ha ha, no just kidding, I'm totally over it, ha ha, really)

Well thats about that. I'm feeling much better today than I was yesterday, obviously. AND i was motivated and got lots done at work. So thank Godess for buying stuff (and girlfriends).

22:30 Posted in Bitch'n , Shop'n | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

07/14/2005

The Lisa Lou Zoo

Ah, me.

Time managment.

I really think something is wrong with me!

My catalog deadline passed twice and I've just barely finished it. Luckily everyone is kind of blinded by the fact that they really like the design but I can tell it didn't go unnoticed and when I have a performance review in three days well, a person might wonder where exactly SELF-PRESERVATION comes into play in my strategy. Apparently it doesn't at all. In fact I'm not sure where the STRATEGY is in my strategy.

It doesn't stop there, oh no. This lack of ability to finish or motivate myself to do ANYTHING carries on into my my personal life. *GASP*. Cleaning? My house looks like a giant cat-box, my drawing table is covered in randomness, you have to walk through my bedroom like you are walking through deep snow to wade through the clean and not clean clothes. Bills, I dont' remember a month where I didn't forget something. My car car is a garbage can on wheels, and DAMMIT I keep forgeting to check the oil. (It burns oil like mad). And yes, more procrastination on C's website.

Madness I tell you. Just a little more control over my own basic responsibilities would be nice. I though I would grow out of this.

Menstrating much you say? Yes friend, yes indeed, and I am prepared to rip your eyes out if you mention it again. ((HUG))

Okay sorry for the craziness. I'll be locking myself in the special padded room now for a few hours and when i get out everything will be aaaaalll better. Very nice.

23:39 Posted in Bitch'n | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

07/07/2005

Title?

Damn. I feel sick for the people in London. What an awful tragedy. Whatever reason whoever did it will not be good enough for murdering innocent people just going about their business. So horrific. I don't think anyone I know was near there thank god. How frightening that must be to survive something like that. It must shake you to your core - imagine going to work like everyother day and suddenly you are in a war zone.

And the news is really pissing me of (whats new right?) I haven't listened to a single news report that didn't spend more time talking about which city in the US is stepping up their security in which area because of what happened in London, than they did talking about what ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN LONDON. It kills me. I'm sorry, Americans can be so self-centered.

I'm also noticing that, even though I hear about things like this happening in, oh say Israel, Iraq, etc (spain, italy) more often, they don't effect me nearly as much. Which I do not like. There is no difference between innocent people being killed by terrorists in Iraq or Lebanon or anywhere else as there is in London except that it happens more frequently. So that is something that calls for some reflection on my part I think.

Anyway, its a good time to realize that I live a very very very safe life and to be thankful for it. Not that an attack could not happen here... but even with 9/11, it is so rare. The odds are low despite that bogus warning system. At least compared to so many other countries/places (darfur region for starters, and um, Iraq) where people fear for their lives and the lives of their family every time they step outside of their house. I'm thankful I can spend my energy on worrying about whether I'll get cancer from the pesticides in non-organic food, or that I'll crash my car, or that I might be allergic to dairy. Its a little gross actually but I'm damn thankful for it!!

23:48 Posted in Bitch'n | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this