Here And There

Okay, there are people in the south WITHOUT a home or belongings, with deceased loved ones, there are people in Iraq suffering, and unimaginable things going on in Darfur.

This is what I'm telling myself so I don't sit here and wallow in self pity for one minute longer. And I really am going to gain persepctive, not only because of that white-liberal-middle class guilt I like to have going on but because I'm liable to get really depressed sometime here soon if I don't start getting happy. Cuz here's the deal:

1. As I've mentioned, my house is being put up for sale. Evidence:


2. I took my car into the mechanic this morning who, sweet man that he is (although a little drunk at times), told me that it will be $600 f'ing dollars to fix the oil leak. The leak that, had I gotten it taken care of when I first noticed it, would not have soaked through my timing belt and almost eaten it through.

3. My computer at work is B R O K E N. And like my car I did not get the malfunctioning automatic back-up system fixed when I noticed it wasn't working and now nothing is backed up and I lost I don't know how much of my work for the past 6 months. (noticing a theme here?)

4. Last night I found cat pee on my bed, on the easy chair, and on the futon couch. Yes, Camille. I honestly am at my wits end with this cat. I don't know how to deal with it. Obviously I can lock her out of any room with stuff to pee on but that sucks! And is impossible to maintain. I've tried everything and am losing it!

5. This morning I smelled gas in my house and called PG&E who found nothing and now I smell some more.

I have that familiar feeling of overwhelmed-ness that precedes a major depression streak. Especially because C is kind of down right now and actually being really awnery. But he knows it and is trying to be cool. In fact after an argument wed. night in which he was particularly out of line (I was an angel of course) he brought me these flowers yesterday:

Aren't they beautiful? I love thistles so thats why he got those and those white flowers, I don't know what they are but they are papery and so so white, I love them. So does Olive, they apparently taste good, hopefully they are not poisonous. (Don't worry PETA, I do not let her eat them) C is such a doll.

Anyway, those flowers are just one of the reasons I need not be depressed (as if logic has much to do with a chemical inbalance but hey, I'm trying). Besides, oh, having a place to live, things to eat and knowing that my loved ones are safe.....There are lots of positive things:

1. Olive is being especially love-y and cute today. (she feels bad for me about Camile and wants me to know shes not like that) She even carries her sparkly puff balls to me in her mouth to drop by my feet so I will throw it for her. "Kitty catch". It kills me and she hasn't done it in ages.

2. For once, instead of being accusing, C is with me on the depression thing and we are working together to be kind to each other and get through it. The fact is Katrina really affected both of us (remotely, obviously we weren't literally effected by it but I don't know how you can see that kind of thing even on the news and not have it effect you), I always get a little imbalanced coming home from a trip (jet lag, percieved anti-climax I guess) and then of course all these loads of issues at once.

3. There were able to get most of my files of my computer remotely (it won't start up) and put in on a hard drive so I can work at home. So now I'm at home instead of work blaring music on my itunes and drinking tea freshly imported from China and..... blogging! (and throwing sparkly cat toys for Olive)

4. Landlord got the hot tub fixed!

5. C and I are going on a date tonight. And I actually HAVE him. I just called a friend who was on the trip to China and found out her husband left her when she got back. She's devastated.

So anyway, long post. Not about China yet because I'm compiling all that. But yeah. We've all got problems.